The Eko club in Lagos is a very particular place. Opened in 1932, it is a sports complex/ leisure centre, complete with 6 tennis courts, Olympic sized swimming pool and Lagos island's only golf course.It has an imposing colonial facade, sweeping staircase, and out the back is a grand veranda complete with servants, fanning members with large palm leaves (not really:)).On closer inspection it is a bit crumbly around the edges; the mats in the gym have seen better days, the bubbling paint betrays the mould that has been cultivating silently over the years, and of course the frequent power outages,mean that the air conditioners and lights flicker on and off constantly. But even with all this, the Eko club is proud to have on its membership books not only the Governor of Lagos State but also the President - yes the President - of Nigeria...and now us!!
This week Si got the text we had been waiting for to confirm our membership: "Congratulations. The Eko Club Membership panel has approved your membership. Please collect your passes at your earliest convenience". Hooray! - we had passed the 4 gruelling stages of assessment:
Stage 1: bring passport, bank statement and contract of employment to the club admissions office, in order to pick up an application form.
Stage 2: fill in said application form, which includes details regarding your Job title, salary, company turnover,and hysterically, your personal sporting achievements. This also needs to be signed off by an existing member of the club, who becomes your "Sponsor".
Stage 3: submit application form. But not to just anyone. Application needs to be submitted by 2 "Captains of Sports". This entailed poor Si having to pull the Captain of the golf section off the green, and the Captain of the ping pong section away from his beer.
Stage 4: attend the interview. With your spouse and your Sponsor.
So last Wednesday night we were invited to the interview. We were asked to bring copies of last 6 months pay slips, company reports, CVs and marriage certificate. What normal person even knows where their marriage certificate is? I think mine is in a box at my parents house...well I certainly don't have it with me here, so I took our wedding album with me instead. (Any excuse!)
We left work early, with another colleague, Winston, who had also applied to the club. On arriving, it was clear that we were not the only people being interviewed, indeed there were about 50 other people, suited and booted waiting in a dusty corridor on those white plastic chairs you get by the swimming pool. An hr later, the queue had not moved one bit, so I decided to go and check out things at the front. A lady told me that this was not in fact a queue, but that everyone present had added their name to a list, which was being worked down, one by one. Where was the list? Well helpfully a man came around every 30 mins or so to add anyone new to it. Luckily I didn't have to wait long: a man came out after 10 mins with the list. He was immediately deluged by a group of men all clamouring to get their names on it. I managed to get Si and I down as number 18, and Winston as number 19.
4 hrs later, a beer and chips in the bar, copious sweating,complaining and general hysteria on my part, the group had thinned out and finally, finally number 18 was called. We suggested Winston come in with us, and our Sponsor also followed us into the interview room. I had expected a small room with just 2 or 3 people, but to my surprise, the interview room consisted of a long oval table with 11- yes 11 interviewers all sat on one side. I started to get nervous. What were they going to ask us?
We were invited to sit in the 4 empty chairs on the opposite side of the table to them. We then waited in silence whilst the interviewers found their papers. The questioning started like this:
"So, who brings these men and women to become members of the Eko club?" Our Sponsor piped in that he did.
"And how long have you known these men and women?" Our sponsor said a year for ourselves, and 6 months for Winston. Silence.
"Well thats very interesting", a man on our left cut in, "because on our forms here, you have written that you have known Simon for 9 months, and Winston for 3"....Amazingly this seemed to throw our Sponsor, who sounded a little nervous when he replied. "Well I can explain that" he started, and went on to explain that at the time the forms were submitted 3 months ago, he had only known us for 9 and 3 months respectively...I was finding it very hard not to laugh as you can imagine. I looked across at Si, whose lips were also turned into a funny curl, as he clearly also was having trouble keeping a straight face. Our sponsor was reprimanded for not being accurate, and told that he should pay more attention to detail in the future. He apologised, and then was asked to leave.
What followed next was the most surreal experience ever. Let me remind you that we were applying for sports club membership. SPORTS CLUB. Firstly, Simon was congratulated and praised by numerous members of the panel on his wonderful application form filling abilities: "very clear","legible", "well thought through application" were some of the comments, (I was biting my lip/ fake coughing at this point to hide my laughter), whilst Winston was quized as to why he had left some sections on the application form blank. Could it be that he was not really committed to Eko club? Could it be that he really didn't care? That he had better things to do? I peered over at the copy of Winston's application. Poor guy had left a blank space for "Company turnover". Winston was asked what he had to say about these allegations. I bent down behind the table, and pretended to turn off my mobile phone, this was just too hysterical.
Unfortunately for Winston, he had also written his job title in a slightly different way on 2 places in the application: "Head of Department" in one place, and "Director of Department" in another. Exemplary form filler Simon had done no such thing - and we were all given a copy of Simon's form so that we could see for ourselves that indeed he had not and was an amazing form filler. I saw Si move to say something. Thank goodness he decided better of it and did not.
So 15 mins later, we were thanked, told that the panel would be deliberating over our responses (Si and I had not uttered a word apart from our names in this interview), and that we would hear in a week or so about their decision.
Well, as Ive said, Si and I are now full Eko Club members.Sadly Winston is still waiting for the call.
This week Si got the text we had been waiting for to confirm our membership: "Congratulations. The Eko Club Membership panel has approved your membership. Please collect your passes at your earliest convenience". Hooray! - we had passed the 4 gruelling stages of assessment:
Stage 1: bring passport, bank statement and contract of employment to the club admissions office, in order to pick up an application form.
Stage 2: fill in said application form, which includes details regarding your Job title, salary, company turnover,and hysterically, your personal sporting achievements. This also needs to be signed off by an existing member of the club, who becomes your "Sponsor".
Stage 3: submit application form. But not to just anyone. Application needs to be submitted by 2 "Captains of Sports". This entailed poor Si having to pull the Captain of the golf section off the green, and the Captain of the ping pong section away from his beer.
Stage 4: attend the interview. With your spouse and your Sponsor.
So last Wednesday night we were invited to the interview. We were asked to bring copies of last 6 months pay slips, company reports, CVs and marriage certificate. What normal person even knows where their marriage certificate is? I think mine is in a box at my parents house...well I certainly don't have it with me here, so I took our wedding album with me instead. (Any excuse!)
We left work early, with another colleague, Winston, who had also applied to the club. On arriving, it was clear that we were not the only people being interviewed, indeed there were about 50 other people, suited and booted waiting in a dusty corridor on those white plastic chairs you get by the swimming pool. An hr later, the queue had not moved one bit, so I decided to go and check out things at the front. A lady told me that this was not in fact a queue, but that everyone present had added their name to a list, which was being worked down, one by one. Where was the list? Well helpfully a man came around every 30 mins or so to add anyone new to it. Luckily I didn't have to wait long: a man came out after 10 mins with the list. He was immediately deluged by a group of men all clamouring to get their names on it. I managed to get Si and I down as number 18, and Winston as number 19.
4 hrs later, a beer and chips in the bar, copious sweating,complaining and general hysteria on my part, the group had thinned out and finally, finally number 18 was called. We suggested Winston come in with us, and our Sponsor also followed us into the interview room. I had expected a small room with just 2 or 3 people, but to my surprise, the interview room consisted of a long oval table with 11- yes 11 interviewers all sat on one side. I started to get nervous. What were they going to ask us?
We were invited to sit in the 4 empty chairs on the opposite side of the table to them. We then waited in silence whilst the interviewers found their papers. The questioning started like this:
"So, who brings these men and women to become members of the Eko club?" Our Sponsor piped in that he did.
"And how long have you known these men and women?" Our sponsor said a year for ourselves, and 6 months for Winston. Silence.
"Well thats very interesting", a man on our left cut in, "because on our forms here, you have written that you have known Simon for 9 months, and Winston for 3"....Amazingly this seemed to throw our Sponsor, who sounded a little nervous when he replied. "Well I can explain that" he started, and went on to explain that at the time the forms were submitted 3 months ago, he had only known us for 9 and 3 months respectively...I was finding it very hard not to laugh as you can imagine. I looked across at Si, whose lips were also turned into a funny curl, as he clearly also was having trouble keeping a straight face. Our sponsor was reprimanded for not being accurate, and told that he should pay more attention to detail in the future. He apologised, and then was asked to leave.
What followed next was the most surreal experience ever. Let me remind you that we were applying for sports club membership. SPORTS CLUB. Firstly, Simon was congratulated and praised by numerous members of the panel on his wonderful application form filling abilities: "very clear","legible", "well thought through application" were some of the comments, (I was biting my lip/ fake coughing at this point to hide my laughter), whilst Winston was quized as to why he had left some sections on the application form blank. Could it be that he was not really committed to Eko club? Could it be that he really didn't care? That he had better things to do? I peered over at the copy of Winston's application. Poor guy had left a blank space for "Company turnover". Winston was asked what he had to say about these allegations. I bent down behind the table, and pretended to turn off my mobile phone, this was just too hysterical.
Unfortunately for Winston, he had also written his job title in a slightly different way on 2 places in the application: "Head of Department" in one place, and "Director of Department" in another. Exemplary form filler Simon had done no such thing - and we were all given a copy of Simon's form so that we could see for ourselves that indeed he had not and was an amazing form filler. I saw Si move to say something. Thank goodness he decided better of it and did not.
So 15 mins later, we were thanked, told that the panel would be deliberating over our responses (Si and I had not uttered a word apart from our names in this interview), and that we would hear in a week or so about their decision.
Well, as Ive said, Si and I are now full Eko Club members.Sadly Winston is still waiting for the call.
When it comes in any sports I'm interested on it that's why when I found your blog I get interested to come here so that I can get an experience for your sports club. I'm hoping to that you have a trainer here. Thank you so much for sharing!
ReplyDeletenew york sports clubs