This week I attended my first Nigerian wedding!! It was…….hmmm….long, very colourful, and noisy! We threw ourselves into the festivities by getting kitted out in the brides colours: Fushia Pink and Baby Blue. It turns out that in Nigerian weddings, guests are invited to be the decorations. And the bride actually sells the material to the guests should they want it. So guests are not only dressed in the same colours, but the same fabric too. Ingenious! All thats left is to find a tailor to design and create the dress for you. Si opted for the blue, and me for the pink…but let me tell you quite a few men were wearing the pink. (They must be more mature than my husband, who flatly refused the pink).
This colour coding is actually great - you never have to worry about someone else turning up in the same outfit, and you really feel a part of the ceremony. Actually Si and I felt so welcome, with the bride's (who I work with) parents coming specially to greet us, and everyone complementing our outfits (think they were just so excited we had gone traditional).
So heres what I learnt about Nigerian weddings:
1. If the invitation says 9am, get there at 11am. Nigerians bring a whole new meaning to the phrase "Asian Standard Time". We turned up way before the groom, other guests….or even the Pastor...
2. Always try on your outfit before the big day. Si decided he didn't have time to try his outfit on in front of the tailor. The result? A very fitted, geek chick wannabe short trouser look. This not only restricted his look, but his movement also, resulting in robot-style dancing moves, and having to be physically cut out of his outfit after the wedding.
3. Prepare for the long haul. In our rush to get to the church on time, we skipped breakfast. Big mistake. 3hrs into the service and our stomachs were rumbling so badly.
4. Shhh! No talking in the church!! Especially when you don't understand what the Pastor is saying (even though he is speaking in English, but just really really fast). We found all eyes on us, when were caught whispering to each other. The whole congregation turned towards us and just stared. Apparently the priest had mentioned us in his sermon, and was using us as an example to the church.
5. Don't wear your LK Bennetts. Ladies….loos are located in the outbuilding across the field. Think cow shed, hole in floor, no mirror, no paper, and no running water.
6. Be ready to dance…and sing…and give money. Dancing was mandatory. The bride danced down the aisle with her father, danced with her groom during the service, and topped off the service by leading the whole congregation around the church in the Conga! Now I know what you're thinking, my idea of heaven right? Sadly no...alas, nobody told us that at the end of the Conga line were 2 large bowls in which we were supposed to deposit money.....for the couple? for the church? for the Pastors pockets….?
Stupidly, I had already put the little money I had brought in the white envelopes circulated earlier labelled "church fund" (I had my doubts that the church would ever see any of that money). Obviously, Si couldn't physically fit anything in his pockets, so also had no money. Nightmare!
So at the end of the Conga line, we did what any proud Brit would do....we just shook the couples hands. Very British. Very embarrassing.
