Last night I attended my first film premiere for a new Nigerian film "Mister & Mrs". The invitation came via a colleague, in a stylish black envelope with strict instructions "admit one only". Two lines jumped out - 1) Red carpet starts at 5pm and (RED CARPET?????aaaaaaaagh!!!!) 2) Dress code: "Be glamorous, be bold!".... Not exactly helpful. What to wear? My mind flashed to the recent pics Id seen of the Harry Potter cast in London, wearing Chanel, D&G...where on earth was I going to find something like that in Lagos? None of my colleagues were any help in suggesting what I should wear, one even told me to "Just wear what you wear to work"...of course alarm bells should have started ringing at this point, but I was too distracted by the thought of the paparazzi snapping away pics of me on the RED CARPET.
So it was on a rainy Sunday afternoon that I set out in a LBD, killer heels and clutch firmly in hand. Si and I drove out, in search of the bright lights and movie stars. The streets were eerily quiet, and it took us some time to locate the "Colonade Hotel", which was a rather disappointing mouldy green building located at the far end of a small alley and car park. On entering the main entrance, we were quickly ushered aside, and told to use the back door for the premiere. Back door? Where were the paparazzi? Where was the red carpet?
At the back door, we got into the lift with a couple of girls dressed like they had just been out clubbing at "car wash". I was beginning to regret the LBD. The lift doors opened on the third floor onto a red carpet, of sorts. A bright red long doormat(crumpled I might add) was flanked by 2 rather precariously positioned roller banners advertising coffee and toothpaste. (What happened to the "be glamorous!"?). The banners were complemented by the purple organza drapes complete with LED Christmas lights cascaded from the ceiling. Now don't get me wrong, I love a freebie as much as the next and so I was grateful for the complementary wine, coffee, snacks and goodie bags. Its just that when you think premiere, you don't necessarily think HP Laptop projecting onto a white pull up screen.
And so it was that Si and I watched our first Nollywood film. Would I recommend it....hmmm, no, Im not really a Nollywood convert. Similar to Bollywood, these films go on for hours, but like everything else here, nobody really knows just how long its going to go on for.And so, with no end in sight at what felt like the 3 hr mark, Si and I decided to leave. Little did we know that the paparazzi and TV crews that I had so looked forward to earlier would be waiting outside. And so its no surprise that our TV Ident will never be aired after we bumbled through it and that I was cut out of the photo that appeared in the press the next day. At least my husband is famous!!
